Pursuing the Ocean
The dusk light has dimmed a lot by the time Lia managed to arrive at the Serene Beach.
As the beach came into her view more and more as she slowly walked forward, she is able to grasp the reason for why this beach was called, “Serene Beach”
Unlike the other side of beach which was brimming with people until late in the night, there’s no people in this side.
A serene silence hung in the atmosphere as the evening cool breeze brushed her skin gently as if caressing her heart.
The previous night, after hearing about this side of beach from a school colleague of hers, she’d decided: Right! This is the right place.
The right place… To quitely drift away from this bustling world.
Even when her lifeless body gets washed up on the shore, no one will know, no one will care. And she’ll be free from this busy world which is constantly in a state of competition.
She walked towards the beach with a peaceful heart which she scarcely had in the past 2 years of her life. Her white frock, reflecting the orange light of the half sunk sun while fluttering in the salty breeze resembled that of a bright candle light which burns brightly before extinguishing.
Proceeding with a blank mind, the candle light would’ve disappered in to the dark blue horizon, had it not for the female figure sitting on the warm sand which Lia spotted not far from where she was.
“You wanna walk in?”, An unimaginably gentle voice came behind her. It was too gentle that she thought she misheard the wind brushing past her. Only when she turned around did she find that the voice was real, coming from a guy standing behind her.
He was tall, taller than her by at least 20centimeters. The sky blue shirt which didn’t have it’s first two buttons left undone hung loosely on his well-built body. He hadn’t bothered to pull up his white pants which led to it’s ends to become drenched in the ocean water. He had neatly crafted facial features which totally did justice to the gentle smile that hung on his lips.
If there’s one flaw that could be mentioned about him, it would be his extremely pale skin. It was so pale that if he were stand under the noon sun, he might blend within the sunlight and disappear.
After carefully taking in his features and confirming that she didn’t know this man, Lia thought of answering his question, however, she was stuck for words.
what could she answer? Is it something she could just casually talk about with a stranger she’d just met. Thus, she remained silent as her pale brown eyes cast downwards.
“Oh. So you really are here to jump in to the ocean.” The guy spoke, breaking the silence that lasted for a few minutes.
“Ah! N-no! I, T-that’s not it!” His conclusion left Lia speechless as she struggled to find the right words to rebuke.
The guy smiled gently at her which deepened the tiny dimples on his cheek. “It’s fine. There’s no need for you to panic over it. I’ve been there once as well.” His voice, serene, blending among the sounds of ripples on the ocean surface, caused by the breeze. “But, it seems what you planned wasn’t gonna happen today.” He continued as he glanced at the figure sitting not too far away from them.
Following his line of sight, Lia’s vision once again fell on that female figure on the sand.
When she talked with her colleague last night, the latter was so sure that no one visits this side of the beach. It’s because of that reassuarance that Lia dared to come here to let go of herties with this life. Of course, she could’ve choose to just silently take her life at her home. But, she had always been strangely fond of ocean and similar water lakes and ponds. Thus, she went to the trouble to travel all the way here. But, who knew that she’d run into people here.
“Who is she?” Lia asked in a moment of heat.
“She? She’s someone who had lost her life among this vast blue horizon.” The guy said, a sense of melancholy outlining his tone.
Ignoring his tone, Lia was a bit confused at his words. He seemed easy going at the beginning but his words held a vibe of mystery to them.
“Are you curious about her?” He asked mischievously while scanning her curious expression, “I’ll tell you about her if you share yours with me.”
His tone and the whole vibe was so soothing that Lia felt like pouring her heart out. From losing her whole family in a car accident 2 years ago to how she lost her job, how she got scammed of all the money she had saved up, how her friends all left her as they looked down on how poor she’d become and how she’d got cancer. She’d poured all about her life in the past two years, about how the world left no way out for her. By the time she finished, the sun had already sunk into the blue sky and in it’s place was a dark blue velvet blanket illuminated by the full moon.
Once she was finished, after spending a few minutes in desolate silence, she finally brought courage upon herself to look up to that man. She was stunned as she looked up.
Unlike her friends who either criticised her or adviced her whenever she tried to confide in them, this strange man was like different being. He still had that gentle smile on his lips as he stared into the starry night sky. His only intention seemed to be just listening to her which brought a strange sense of comfort in Lia’s heart.
She suppressed the tears welling up in her eyes as she asked, “What about her?”
Another few minutes of silence… until the man looked down at the sand by his feet.
“In life, she never had much moments of happiness. Her mother passed away as soon as she was born. With a workaholic who was rarely at home, she grew up under abusive step mom who beat her up whenever she felt like it. But, she never once broke down. She had always been strong. When she moved out of her house at 18, her father passed away as well which left her penniless. But, she tried hard to earn her own money in part-time jobs while supporting her own education. Most of the time, she worked in the late of the nights whhich led her to get sexually assaulted one night. She got rescued the next day but, she was left broken mentally. But, she still stayed strong and pulled herself together in less than a month before she went back to University to continue her studies. One year later, she found a man who was willing to love her despite her dark past and she was happy in life for once. But, that happiness didn’t last long. Despite loving her uncontrollably, that man wasn’t as strong as her. What an unworthy man he was. Just a few silly setbacks in life, he came here on a whim and jumped into the ocean.”
“He was too unworthy of her love!”
That man said as he glanced at the woman who was still sitting on the sand, looking at the ocean with empty eyes.
Hearing her story, Lia also looked ahead at that woman with a sense of inferiority.
She truly had never seen such a strong woman... Nor had she been one…
Wanting to know more about her, “Then, what is she doing here now?” Lia asked.
Snapping out of his melancholy as he heard her, “She comes here everyday. She had always been strong that she wasn’t accustomed to being weak. But, the only person who ever loved her leaving her really left a huge blow. Although, she isn’t too weak enough to follow after her love, she couldn’t let go of him either. She bought a place nearby and made it a habit to visit here every single day.” The man continued as the his last sentence became almost a whisper.
“But, her eyes had long lost it’s life.”
The man sounded extremely aggrieved that Lia didn’t have it in her interrupt his serene silence for the next 10 minutes until the man himself eventually pulled himself togther.
“Alright. Story time’s over. I’ll leave you to your own business.” That man said as he got up prepared to walk away before Lia stopped him. “Wait! How do you know so much about her? Who are you?” Right, she should’ve asked this question long ago but strangely, it never occured to her until now.
Hearing her, the man once again smiled gently, exposing his dimples.
“Me? Of course I know about her. Who else could know about her other than me?”
He said while walking away, waving his hands without looking back.
Right, why does it matter who he is? Lia had long lost her desire to take her own life. Hearing about that woman, she felt that she had a long life ahead of her where she needs fight harder than now. Giving up halfway is an ct of cowardice.
Thinking like that, she no longer had the urge to stare at the man’s back who was walking towards that distant figure sitting on the sand. She turned around and walked in the other direction, leaving the beach, swearing to never come back here to take her life.
However, if she had looked back, she’d have noticed the woman who had finished staring into the vast horizon getting up and walking towards the man before walking past him as if she hadn’t seen him at all. A small candid fell from her purse as she walked past him which she quickly turned back to pick up. In that photo, she was happily smiling while a man was hugging her from behind. He also had a smile on his face, two dimples exposed on both sides of his cheeks.
Sure enough, she hadn’t forgotten him despite it being two years since he passed away.
As the man on sky blue shirt stared at her disappearing back with a sense of yearning and regret, he’d selfishly hoped that she wouldn’t forget him even after countless eternities passed.
With an impulse decision two years ago, regret is the only thing he was left with.
No matter how hard life gets, never opt to taking your own life.
You hurt yourself while hurting those around yourself as well.
