How Writing carries away My Wounds.

Animated Image of The Author

So, I’ve been writing fiction novels for a year by now.

Not consistently. But I was writing whenever I felt like it, whenever I felt lost.

And, now that I came to know about the changes Writing incited in my life, lately, I’ve been writing consistently to better shape my life more.

So…

◆ How was my life before writing?

It’s not that worse compared to many many people out there who are struggling to get even a meal for a day.

But, it’s still bad.

I had, what some people mention as,

Typical Asian Parents.

We’re two children at home and neither I nor my Sister had it easy at home with our parents who expects perfectionism in our studies.

• [ Honestly, I don’t blame them now though. I mean, which parent doesn’t want their children to be perfect. And just like they say, you’ll understand your parent’s perspective when you become an adult. ]

Anyways…

My Sister was smart and had a strong mindset, thus she tolerated it until the moment she went out to University.

However,

I wasn’t strong enough to handle such small disparaging remarks whenever I didn’t meet their expectations.

And, gradually, I developed:

1. Inferiority Complex.
2. Social Anxiety.
3. People-pleasing tendencies.
4. Insecurities.

And eventually, with Covid curfew as a trigger,

Great News!

I got…

• Depression.

And to run away from it, I developed the habit of using my phone too much. Mobile addiction, it was.

And another Great News!

• My Depression got Worse.

Kind Advice: [ Don’t run away from Your problems. Coz, they’re fast runners than you are. ]

◆ How Fiction Writing shaped my life for the better?

First of all, how I got into Fiction writing?

So, in 2021, I read this Novel, It’s an Eastern Fantasy-historical Novel, also Newyork Times Best seller Novel.

It’s structure, the well developed plot and characters, and the humour in the narration, everything about that Novel pulled me in.

It was the second Novel I read.

• Fun fact: [ The first Novel I read is “The Prisoner of Zenda” by Anthony Hope ] : An Old Novel.

So, what about that second Novel I read pulled me in?

The humour.

Right, the humour in the narration. Because…

It was when I was suffering with extreme Depression and reading that Novel cheered me up.

That’s why I thought,

If reading a novel cheers me up this much, why don’t I become a Writer myself? I can cheer other people up too.

It was kind of cringe, now that I think of it. But, I’m glad I started it.

Because, whenever I sit down to write, what forms as sentences on that blank paper/screen were my thoughts.

• Sadness
• Frustration
• Anger
• Sense of Inferiority
• Low self-esteem
• Anxiety

Every emotion I felt which made me lose control of myself and become that short tempered, mobile addicted, depressed couch potato…

I was able to get rid of those energy-stealer emotions whenever I sat down to write Novels.

At the same time, whenever I felt emotions like happiness, joy and the likes of it, I felt myself feeling even better. It was as if Writing joyous parts of a Novel made me even more elated.

Because,

The Dopamine hits.

The reward chemical.

Whenever I write, even though it’s full of crap, It was a cause of celebration for me.

A sense of achievement I get.

Because…

Once again…

The Dopamine Hits!!!

The feel good chemical!

[ Good things needs to be Repeated. ]

That’s why I said,

Fiction Writing washes away the old wounds in my heart.

Author’s words: Today’s article is a bit off the track from my usual writing style. Because, I’m feeling really bubbly while writing it.

Maybe, because I’m writing about something I truly love.

Hope You’re Enjoying Your Week!

-Cayal-